


Roll with Advantage

by daintylemonsquare



Category: Dalton Academy Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Blood and Injury, Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, Fluff, Giant Spiders, Just letting you know that there will be a lot of that, M/M, Monsters, Nothing too major but there's a scene with it., Swarms of Spiders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:20:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28183056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daintylemonsquare/pseuds/daintylemonsquare
Summary: It's time for their Dungeons and Dragons game and Clark is expecting a new player to join them. What he doesn't expect is who that new player is.
Relationships: Julian Larson-Armstrong/Clark Sawyer
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Roll with Advantage

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. This was A LOT. Wrote it all in one go. Fuckin my brain's fried. Anyway, the characters these people play are my characters that I've played with before. I have all their character sheets out right now. I'll post an example on discord if you want it (wink to the people at the server). I also rolled individual dice for them so every time a character makes a roll, I roll it in real life and went along with it. More on that later because spoilers. There's this one thing with the dice I wasn't able to do because of a roll but you'll see when you reach the end. I will also post pictures of the dice each character used on discord if you want it.   
> Enjoy the story!!   
> I'm sorry to all of you who don't play DnD!! This story is self-indulgent and for fun and ME TIME.

Clark should’ve known something was up when he found Sinny and Mikey giggling with one another as he let them in his and Raven’s apartment for their weekly D&D game. His face creased with curiosity but thought nothing of it. Sinny must’ve shown Mikey another dumb video he found on the internet. He should’ve known too, when Sinny began giggling anew the moment he and Raven locked eyes.

“Okay? What’s that all about?” Clark asked. Sinny shook his hand at him. Raven, who was ordering pizza, shrugged. Clark loved his weird friends, but he couldn’t put his finger on what was causing this.

Until, of course, Corey arrived with a special guest.

He’d mentioned that a classmate from his stage acting classes was interested in joining a Dungeons and Dragons game since he wanted to practice improv without having to take extra improv classes. Everyone didn’t mind a fifth player, especially not Clark, who was always personable. Except, this person turned out to be Julian Larson, who Clark had a huge crush on since he saw him in a summer production of Much Ado About Nothing that Corey was also in last year.

The same Julian Larson that was on the top of Clark’s Instagram search list at any given day. The same Julian Larson Clark had been too intimidated to talk to since he deemed him “too perfect.” The same Julian Larson whose ass Clark wrote a poem about in a creative writing class when he was pressed for time. The same Julian Larson whose smile made time stop for everyone in a fifteen-foot radius.

That Julian Larson was entering his grungy apartment that was only half-heartedly cleaned for the sake of a new guest. To Clark, it now looked like a dump. He wanted nothing more than to find a corner, shrink into a ball, and lay there until Julian left.

“Hey guys,” Corey said, as if he didn’t just put Clark in a straitjacket of his own emotions. “Julian. Julian—Sinny, Raven, Mikey, and Clark.”

Clark managed to extract a greeting that was lodged in his throat. “Nice dice tray,” he said.

“Thanks, it’s my friend Logan’s.”

He stood there, scrambling for something to say but every bit of small talk left his brain for that one important second where it wasn’t awkward. Now it was. Julian’s eyebrows rose. Clark wanted to run. “I’m gonna go get some drinks,” he stammered. “We got water, soda, juice, beer, wine…” He didn’t drink but he might consider it tonight.

“Ooh, can we drink during the game?” Julian asked.

“Hell yeah, we can! Dungeons and Drinking,” Sinny whooped.

“What kinda wine do you have?” Julian asked.

Clark wished he wasn’t turning completely red right now but it sure felt like he was. “Uh, Rae? What kind of wine do we have?” He called then he added, “I don’t drink so I don’t really check. Sorry.”

“White,” Raven replied, while Julian said, “That’s fine.”

“What about us, Clark?” Corey pouted a little. “Won’t you take our drink orders?”

Clark wasn’t sure if he was going to laugh at the sheer audacity of this man in front of him or to punch that devious glint in his eyes. Clark settled on saying, “Shut up, he’s a guest. Get your own.” He spun on his heel and walked to the kitchen area behind the counter. Mikey followed him in the guise of helping.

“Hey Clark,” Mikey sang.

“How dare you?” Clark muttered as he took the bottle of wine out of the fridge and some orange juice. “How dare all of you?”

Mikey snorted. “It’s not as big of a conspiracy as you think. Chill.”

“You could’ve at least warned me,” Clark countered in hushed but rushed tones. “What even is the plan here?!”

“Get you to talk to him. So far, it’s working,” Mikey replied. Clark leaned on the counter, head hanging low. Mikey bumped his shoulder. “Listen. We’ve had enough of your pining and all your lame excuses about why you won’t just ask him out. We had to do it.”

“I think that knowing he might be more into girls than he is into guys is a pretty compelling excuse,” Clark said.

“How do you know that for sure?” Mikey fixed him a stern look.

“Every time we bump into him, he’s like with another girl,” Clark said firmly.

“That’s a flimsy one, at best, you useless pansexual,” Raven said as he hopped on the counter and grabbed the wine. “The worst that could happen is he says no. You won’t die.”

“A part of me will.”

“God, you’ve been around your poetry classmates for way too long, dude.” Raven snatched a couple of glasses off their drying rack and jumped off the counter.

“So what? Do you want me to ask him out now? Just come right out and say it?” Clark said.

“No.” Mikey laughed. “Just get to know him right now. See if you actually like being around him instead of the idea of him and I’m sure you’ll be able to figure it out from there.” He patted Clark shoulder and gave him a shake. “You haven’t been out of the dating game for that long. You’ll figure it out.”

Clark hoped so.

* * *

After some niceties and some jostling of Clark to make sure he sat right across Julian on the table, the game started where they left off the week before. Corey, the Dungeon Master, summarized it: they brokered an alliance with the lizardfolk, had a little freaky interaction with Councilman Solmor’s butler, and uncovered a potential conspiracy regarding a dangerous mercenary group that disappeared a decade ago. They were waiting for the alliance to be officially cemented by the council when a man arrived in town, searching for a few adventurers to help him retrieve an item of dire importance.

“His name is Babanon Dusal, and he’s got his valet with him, and another man, who is dressed for adventuring,” Corey says from behind his DM screen. He turned to Julian. “I’ve already found one adventurer while I was making my way down here to Saltmarsh,” Corey continued with an exaggerated affectation of a rich nobleman and a sweeping gesture toward him. “Young man, would you mind introducing yourself to this band?”

“Oh. Okay, yeah, sure.” Julian flipped to the second page of his character sheet, scanned it for a moment, and grinned. “Hello, my name is Comedy Lavorre,” he said in a perfect Ukranian accent. “Mr. Dusal passed me by on my way here and I thought why not, you know?”

Raven, who was taking down notes, dropped his pen in awe. “Oh my god! Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Dude, I quit,” Sinny threw his character sheet on the table. “I’ll bust out the shitty British accent. I’ll do it!”

“That’s really good.” Mikey nodded.

Julian laughed and preened himself a little bit. Corey snorted. “Continue, continue,” he said.

Julian cleared his throat, and he said, without breaking the accent, “What you see in front of you is a green tiefling. He’s got horns that come out from the side of his head, curve towards his forehead and the point upward before they meet. He waves with his hand and his tail. He’s got a nice set of clothes, and a symbol of an archway pinned on his cloak.”

“Critical Role?” Corey asked. “Jester and Fjord’s kid, I presume?”

Julian smirked at him. “No. I don’t know who Fjord is. Can’t a tiefling just have green skin?” He asked, still in the accent.

Clark picked his jaw off the table before Julian’s eyes swiveled to him. “Um, hello.” Clark cleared his throat.

“What’s your name?” Julian asked. “I’d love to get to know all of you. I think we’ll all be friends.”

“Is Comedy, like, eleven?” Sinny asked, laughing.

“No,” Julian replied. “He’s twenty-two, but he’s never been bullied if that makes sense.”

“Did he kill the people who tried?” Mikey joked.

“Yes,” Julian replied.

A stunned Mikey stared at him while Raven and Sinny laughed. Julian maintained a wide, closed-mouth smile.

“Baffin,” Corey turned to Clark, who was going warm all over. “I believe Comedy asked you a question.”

“Oh! Yeah. Okay. Um, I don’t have an accent,” Clark said. Julian waggled his head. “Baffin Zales is a water genasi. So blue skin. Looks like they’ve been dipped into some of that Fenty Beauty highlighter. They/them. Pronouns. Um…black hair. Short. Moves like it’s in a shampoo commercial. Big, black eyes. Got nice armor on. They greet you: Baffin.” Clark salutes. Then he licks his lips.

He summoned the courage to talk to him by way of logic. This was a roleplaying game. He could do whatever he wanted and say whatever he wanted (within reason) and it would impact his real life by a negligible amount. He turned to his friends, who were leaning on the table, waiting for him to continue. He hoped they wouldn’t react too much. They were being a little too obvious with their ulterior motive with Julian around and either Julian was polite enough to ignore it or Clark was being too paranoid. Regardless, this was his chance. If anything went wrong, he could blame the game or his character, and he’d be fine.

“That’s an interesting symbol on your cloak,” Clark said. “I haven’t seen one before and I know about gods—and Baffin pulls out a symbol of Tempus, the god of war in the Faerûn.”

“Ah, yes. Have you heard of the Traveler?” Julian asked.

“No, actually,” Clark answered.

“Here’s a pamphlet—he gives you a pamphlet. It’s got drawings of a guy in a green cloak and all of these platitudes about letting chaos into your heart and how chaos is important to balance,” Julian answered.

“Baffin goes: I’ll…read this later. Thank you.”

“Do you guys want one too?” Julian turns to the rest of the group. “Before you guys even reply, Comedy hands you all the pamphlets. You immediately find out that he did them all by himself, probably on a carriage or a cart.”

“That’s so cute,” Raven said. “When you give the pamphlet to me, I look up. I say: Hi. Is this a cult?”

“Comedy laughs.” And Julian did a perfect laugh that he cut short. “Depends on who you’re asking. What’s your name?”

“We’re gonna get sacrificed,” Sinny said. “We’re gonna have to fight Comedy at the end and he’s gonna sacrifice us.”

“Only if you’re mean,” Julian said with the accent.

After Raven was done laughing at that, he said, in a meek voice, “Hi, my name is Himeros Wavey. He’s a half-orc with striking violet eyes. If you’ve seen half-orcs before, you’re surprised to see one as pretty as he is. Unlike other half-orcs, he’s more of a twink instead of the usual size.” Julian snorted. “He’s pretty well-kempt and he’s got glasses on. That’s Himeros. He/him.”

“He/him too,” Julian agreed. 

Next on the list was Sinny, who spoke like himself. “Hey. I’m Voxxora Garrul. She/her. Silver dragonborn. There’s a top spine on my head that’s curved like Free Willy’s fin. That’s it. You’re a weird kid.”

“Comedy’s literally older than you,” Clark commented.

“How do you know?” Sinny asked.

“He just said Comedy’s twenty-two. Xora’s twenty-one,” Clark said.

“No she’s not.” Sinny looked at his sheet. “Oh fuck, you’re right.”

Then it was Mikey’s turn. “My character is a firbolg. They’re tall and muscular with speckled fur. Off-white, gray, and black. They have brown hair that they’ve tied back in a tight braid. There’s an undercut where they had swirls and designs cut into the hair. It’s growing out a little bit. They’ve got soft features but their gaze is steely and intimidating. When you look at their hands, which are holding your pamphlet, you notice that the fur there is stained pink.” Mikey cleared his throat. “Bastion. Bastion Snow,” he said in a deeper, lower voice. “They/them.”

“Why are your hands pink?” Julian asked in character.

“Bastion just stares at you,” Mikey said.

“Comedy stares back.”

“Who blinks first?” Mikey asked Corey.

“Roll a con save,” Corey replied.

“First roll of the night, baby,” Sinny whooped, before sipping his tequila sunrise.

“Um...Saves are different from checks…” Julian ran his fingers around his sheet.

“Over there, by the dexterity modifier box,” Clark said.

Julian’s finger landed on it. “Thanks.” Then he rolled his dice as Mikey did. “Oh shit, I’m proficient—fifteen.”

“Twenty-three,” Mikey said.

“Comedy, you blink first,” Corey said.

“Damn it. Comedy rubs his eyes,” Julian said. “Pink is my favorite color. What’s yours?”

Mikey chuckled. “Bastion shakes their head and says: This is going to be a long mission.”

* * *

The mission was simple: go into sea and reach a ghost ship that used to belong to Babanon’s family called the Eden’s Horizon, grab a chest hidden with the bowels of the ship (Babanon did not disclose the specific contents, only it was valuable—Clark rolled a nine on a persuasion check), and then come back alive. If they did that, they would be paid ten-thousand gold, which, even when split between the five of them, was a pretty good price, so, off they sailed.

Clark couldn’t stop watching Julian. Even when he fumbled with his character sheet, and even when he kept asking if he was allowed to do something, every word he said and every move he made was done with every inch of his confidence. He played his character well and the accent was so intact. He even kept using it outside of playing Comedy.

“God, it’s so exhausting to play him,” he said, during a fifteen-minute break to eat pizza after some roleplaying shenanigans on the boat. “He’s way too bubbly and talkative and friendly. I mean, I could’ve played someone who wasn’t but I didn’t want to play someone too much like myself.”

“So what you’re trying to say is that you’re a bitch,” Corey said. Julian threw a paper napkin at him.

“Dude, I’m having so much fun with Comedy,” Raven said and the bumped into Clark. “And so does, Clark. Right, Clark?”

Clark almost choked on his pizza. “Mmhmm!”

“I hope so. I really didn’t know what I signed up for with playing someone worshipping a trickster god. I can’t figure out any good pranks,” Julian said. “Not on the fly at least. I spent so much time with creating this character that I didn’t even fucking plan any of his go-to pranks.”

“The accent was worth it,” Clark said. “It’s immaculate.”

Julian smiled at him. “Thanks. I did my best with it.”

“And, like I said before the break, it was the first time anyone in the party heard Baffin laugh out loud like that,” Clark said.

“Really?” Julian asked.

“Yeah. You went through an entire backstory about how you were raised to be a spy by your grandfather and how you’re out in the world to prove yourself to him that you’re capable of leading the criminal empire when he’s gone, even though he was going to give the title to you anyway. Then you Xora asked if that was all true and Comedy said no, heart. ‘But that would’ve been cool,’” Clark said in a poor approximation of Comedy’s accent. “That was pretty good.”

“Thank you, Clark. I really tried with that one,” Julian said. Clark looked away, bashful, heart tripping over the tiniest beats.

“Aww,” Corey said.

Clark stood up from his seat. “I’m going to the bathroom real quick.” He scurried away to compose himself before he screamed at Corey.

* * *

They were a day away from getting to the last known location of the Eden’s Horizon. After a storm that nearly made their ship capsize (thankfully it didn’t after a few good rolls and a few smart calls), it was now a sunny day on the sea. with thick cumulous clouds shielding the crew from most of the afternoon sun. The captain of the ship even said that it was a good day for swimming too. Corey asked them if there was anything their characters would like to do before they moved on to the last part of the game. He promised that nothing was going to happen so they can use this moment for more roleplay. (Raven jokingly rolled a twenty-two for an insight check on the DM and Corey swore that he was just going to let them roleplay this part.)

“Comedy stands at the left side of the ship, whatever that’s called,” Julian said in character. “And looks out to the sea.”

There was a quick glance around the table and Clark caught everyone’s eyes landing on him at least once. He opened his mouth, hoping to interrupt whatever plan they were having, but Sinny spoke first.

“Xora is going to be on the crow’s nest, looking out into the distance with a telescope, in case there is trouble,” Sinny said.

“Himeros is going to be with the ship’s navigator and trying to learn how to do that job since he’s a nerd,” Raven said.

“Fin is going to spar with Bastion,” Clark said. Mikey paused, pursed his lips, and nodded.

“Alright, where are you going to be doing this?” Corey asked.

“I assume on deck,” Mikey said. “It’s not like there’s room for us to spar downstairs. Plus, Bastion’s more than seven feet tall.”

“I amend my statement,” Julian said. “Once they start sparring, Comedy watches them.” Sinny wolf-whistled. Julian rolled his eyes. “What? After Comedy saw them keep the mast up during that storm by sheer willpower and muscle, he’s been having thoughts. He’s a divine sorcerer, not a cleric. There’s a difference.”

After the laughter had died down, Corey said, “Alright. You two. Four athletics checks. Highest total at the end doesn’t get knocked on their ass.”

Right from the beginning, with Clark rolling a ten and Mikey rolling a twenty-one, Clark had a feeling that Baffin wasn’t going to come out of this without some bruised pride, but the natural twenty on Mikey’s last roll took the cake from him.

“With that last roll, I want to do something,” Mikey said. “I want both my swords to hit Fin’s shield and when they push me off, I kick and hit them right on the chin and they fall onto the deck.”

“Oh my god. Roll damage,” Corey said.

“Aren’t unarmed strikes just a one plus the strength mod if you’re not a monk?” Mikey asked.

“I’ll let you have this one with that nat-twenty. Just a d4 though,” Corey said.

“Okay.” Mikey rolled. “Eight damage.”

“Baffin, as your sparring partner unexpectedly smashes your jaw, not enough to break, but enough to throw you off your feet, you taste blood in your lips. Comedy, Baffin falls at your feet. What do you do?” Corey asked.

“You guys take your sparring seriously, huh?” Julian asked, turning to Mikey.

“Bastion drops the swords and then rushes to Baffin’s side and says: I’m so sorry. I got carried away.”

Clark waves it off. “It’s fine. It’s fine.”

“Bastion looks up at Comedy with a pleading look,” Mikey said. His mouth was twitching with a grin that ached to be released.

“I mean…what if something comes out the sea. Like those sahuagin you guys keep talking about,” Julian said.

“Comedy,” Mikey tried his best to sound stern but all the others were giggling.

“Fine. I kneel down and put my hand on Baffin’s jaw and cast cure wounds at level one,” Julian said. “Um…a d8.”

“This one,” Corey raised a diamond shaped die.

“Thanks.” Julian rolled. “Seven points healed.”

“Baffin says: If you hate healing spells so much,” Clark started, “why do you have them?”

“Maybe I was born with it, maybe it’s Maybelline, I don’t know,” Julian replied.

“Who’s Maybelline. I thought you were following the Traveler?” Clark asked.

“Comedy just winks.” And Julian winked at Clark too. Thankfully, Clark didn’t have to respond right away since every word he knew left his mind in that moment. “Well, you two have been sparring for a while now. Why don’t we take a dip? And Comedy starts taking off his clothes.”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Clark said. “Are you crazy?”

“Kinda,” Julian said. “And Comedy cannonballs off the ship.”

“Bastion asks: Are you okay?” Mikey said.

“Fin nods,” Clark replied.

“Then Bastion says: Make sure he doesn’t drown, genasi. And then walks off to gather their swords,” Mikey says.

“From above, you hear Xora ask: Are we swimming?” Sinny mimes shouting by cupping his hands around his mouth.

“I guess?” Clark replied.

“Okay! And Xora launches herself off the crow’s nest and hopefully to the water and uses a bonus action to turn into a dolphin,” Sinny said.

“Roll athletics or acrobatics, your choice,” Corey said.

“Acrobatics.” Sinny looked his character sheet. “I’m going to cast guidance on myself, just to be sure I don’t go splat.” He rolled his d20. “Hey!” And he then he rolled his d4. “Sweet.” He counted with his fingers. “Twenty.”

“You don’t go splat and you do a front flip before you turn into a dolphin.”

“The dolphin is blue.”

“Nice.”

“Baffin looks over the side of the boat to check if Comedy and Xora are okay,” Clark said.

“Come in Finny! The water is fine,” Julian said, waving for Clark to join him.

“E-e-e-e-e-e-e-e!” Sinny flapped his arms then broke with laughter. “That was stupid. I’m sorry to all dolphins. Leave me alone to Google that girl on vine who did the dolphin noises.”

“No one calls me that,” Clark said.

“I’m no one then! C’mon. What kind of water genasi are you?” Julian stage-shouted.

“I’ve been on the sea my entire life. That’s the kind of water genasi I am,” Clark replied with the same stage shout.

“Prove it. You won’t. And Comedy climbs on Xora’s back,” Julian said.

“E-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e!” Sinny played the video this time around.

“Fin rolls their eyes and takes off their clothes. Since it’s a chill day, they weren’t wearing any armor, just the shield, so it doesn’t take them ten minutes to undress. They climb on the railing,” Clark said and took a deep breath as if he stood on the railing himself.

“Do a flip,” Julian called.

“I do a flip.”

“Acrobatics or athletics,” Corey said.

“Athletics.” Clark rolled. “Seventeen plus five for a twenty-two.”

“It’s a sick flip, bro,” Corey said with a nod. “Very Tom Daley in the Olympics.”

“As Baffin resurfaces,” Julian began, “Comedy’s got this awestruck look on his face and he says: That was hot.”

“Baffin blushes,” Clark said, blushing.

“How does a water genasi blush?” Raven asked, head resting on his fist, leaning toward Clark.

“They turn the slightest bit teal,” Clark replied then hid his face as he drank a glass of water.

* * *

After a nice afternoon of playing in the ocean, Himeros joined them as a sea lion after some goading from Comedy, followed by an evening of talking about their childhoods, to which Comedy continued to spin tall tales about (Julian just said “Comedy makes something up” because he couldn’t think of anything interesting when put on the spot, and rolled a thirteen at disadvantage), they were finally in the vicinity of the Eden’s Horizon.

“Everyone roll perception,” Corey said.

“Why?” Raven narrowed his eyes.

Corey shrugged.

“I rolled a two. We’re gonna die, y’all,” Mikey joked. “Nine total.”

“Don’t give him ideas,” Clark said. “Eleven perception.”

“Nine total,” Julian said. “Why is everyone freaking out?”

“A perception check in the middle of the ocean in front of a ghost ship? If you don’t perceive anything, it’s gonna be bad. Surprise attacks and all that bullshit.” Raven replied. “But, that’s okay because I rolled a total of twenty-one, DM.”

“Nice,” Corey said and turned to Sinny.

Sinny counted with his fingers a couple of times before saying, “Twenty-six.”

“Oh fuck, okay,” Corey nodded and leaned into his DM screen. “Okay. Comedy, Bastion, Baffin—you guys are too preoccupied with the ship that looks dilapidated and gray but somehow still adrift. It gives your stomach a turn of dread. Himeros and especially Voxxora—”

“Druids for the win,” Sinny announced and high-fived with Raven across the table.

“You guys see a shape, a shadow, under the water. Himeros, you’re not really sure what it is, except that it’s huge as fuck.”

“Oh, the standard unit of measure as fuck.” Raven nodded. “Got it, got it.”

“But you, with your fucking twenty-six—”

“I’m a bounty hunter. Perceiving is in my job description,” Sinny interjected with a smirk.

“You’re able to figure out the shape. It’s down there deep but you’re able to make out these elongated curves. Eight arms, two tentacles. Disquieting, undulating motions as it swims around the two ship,” Corey said.

“Oh fuck,” Mikey said. “No. Shut up.”

“Are we…fighting a giant squid?” Julian asked the table.

“You don’t see it. Only Voxxora sees it,” Corey said. “Xora, would you mind rolling history for me please?”

“Oh don’t act cute when you’re throwing a giant squid at us,” Sinny retorted and rolled. “Fifteen.”

“With a fifteen, you’ve heard sailors in Saltmarsh talk about a kraken in the sea’s horizon. This isn’t your regular giant squid. This one’s far more monstrous, judging by the size,” Corey said.

“Do I know anything to drive it away or maybe how to avoid calling attention to it?” Sinny asked.

“With a fifteen, no, unfortunately,” Corey answered.

“Has it noticed us yet with my twenty-six perception?” Sinny shot back.

Corey rolled his eyes backward and said, “No, it’s not making any aggressive movements towards you or towards the ships.”

“I tell the group about the kraken,” Sinny said with a little bit of urgency. “I turn to Himeros and be like: Hey, Orc Twink, what do you know about krakens and how can we avoid being smashed by it?”

Raven turned to Corey. “What do I know about krakens and how can we avoid being smashed by it?”

Corey chortled. “Roll history or arcana.”

Raven was rolling his dice in his hand and his head swiveled around the group. “Can someone cast guidance on me?”

Julian reached over and patted him on the shoulder. “I believe in you and so does the Traveler.”

“History and arcana have the same mod so I’m gonna go arcana.” Raven rolled his d20. He stared at it with an open mouth.

Sinny leaned in. “Yooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”

“Natural twenty,” Raven said. Corey stood up and looked at the dice then sat back down in a slump. “I was a kraken kid growing up. I don’t know if you know that. Very into sea monsters. And I’ll roll my guidance for the hell of it.” He rolled. “A four?! What the fuck. I’ve peaked! That brings the total up to twenty-eight.”

Julian and Clark shared a look of gleeful disbelief at the luck Raven had in that moment. Clark looked away first. If he didn’t, he’d despair too much over how flawless Julian’s skin was.

“Okay.” Corey sighed.

Raven laughed. “Sorry for breaking your game, Cor.”

“No, no, it’s fine. Here’s the thing. Obviously, if you make a huge ruckus, the kraken will attack. As far as you can tell, if the kraken wants to feed, it would’ve done so by now. The fact that your boat is still intact when it came into its territory means that this kraken has been recently sated. However, from your childhood spend in libraries reading about sea monsters, you know that the reason why it’s near the surface right now is that it’s looking for its next meal. Mechanically, I’ve set a timer for an hour and fifteen minutes.” He raised his phone from behind the DM screen. “This is not in-game time but in real life time. If you don’t get off the Eden’s Horizon in an hour and fifteen minutes, the kraken will attack.”

“Which boat?” Julian asked.

“Hopefully the Eden’s Horizon,” Raven replied.

“Can we tell the captain to turn the boat around and stay about, I don’t know, a thousand feet from the Eden’s Horizon?” Clark asked.

“You could. With that fucking natural twenty, I’d say that Himeros knows how far a Kraken’s territory is and that if you leave its range by more than a thousand feet then it will lessen the chances that it would go for your ship,” Corey answered.

“Fuck yeah. I’m gonna get shots. We need to celebrate,” Raven said, standing.

* * *

They row to the Eden’s Horizon. Their ship was bit a speck in the distance (in game: one thousand and five feet away) but, after looking at their spells, and if they played this right, they’d be able to get in and get out quick.

Except everything went wrong from the moment they got on the ship.

There were a couple of doors on the deck that they could check. Julian opened one, and, as Comedy, flung it open, hoping to rush through the ship without having to deal with the kraken. Behind the first door was an aberration. It stood on two legs with a bulbous, sickly purple body, with large black eyes that protruded from its insectoid head. Corey made an uncomfortable chittering sound.

“Comedy closes the door,” Julian said. Clark was the first to laugh.

“Roll initiative,” Corey said.

“Fuck,” Julian shouted.

After dealing with a swarm of spiders and an ettercap, which controlled the spiders, Julian had Comedy go to the other door since that fight took thirty minutes. With Comedy’s spiritual weapon he conjured during the first battle (it was in the form of an ice cream cone), he hit the second door. There were two more ettercaps and another swarm of spiders. This time, Comedy went down, unconscious.

“Baffin, it’s your turn,” Corey said.

Clark glanced at Julian, who had his head in his hands, staring at his spells, then back to the group.

“I’m going to run over and carry Comedy out of the swarm of spiders,” he said.

“You’re fighting an ettercap already,” Corey said. “It’ll get an attack of opportunity.”

“I’ll misty step to him then,” Clark said. “As a bonus action. Then with my action, I’ll carry him away.”

Corey considered it for a moment. “I’ll say…you can move half your movement to carry him out of the swam. You’ll still have your action.” Corey gave him a meaningful look at Clark couldn’t comprehend at first but then remembered that he was a paladin.

“Okay, I do that.” Clark moved their cardboard tokens on the ship map that Corey printed out for the combat. Julian looked up, staring at their tokens. “Then, when we’re fifteen feet away from everything, I use my pool of Lay on Hands to heal Comedy for twenty-five hit points.”

“Yeah! Pump that healing into this body!” Sinny cheered.

“How many drinks have you had?” Clark chortled.

“Enough. I’m drinking for you, me, and Mikey,” Sinny swayed. Mikey reached over and took what might as well be Sinny’s sixth drink. Sinny smiled at him and held his hand.

“Comedy, you gasp awake,” Corey said and Julian did a realistic rendition of someone getting resuscitated. “Cradling your head and with a hand on your chest, is your pal Baffin Zales.”

Julian faked a cough. “Did we beat them?”

“Baffin shakes their head and says to Comedy: stay behind me, okay?” Clark locked eyes with Julian and the air between them vibrated to a tune that Clark couldn’t comprehend just yet but he could feel it in how the hairs on his neck stood. Clark continued, “And then they pick up their sword, stand up, and ready their shield. That’s my turn.”

Julian leaned into his seat. “I need another drink.”

“Xora, it’s your turn. Himeros, you’re on deck.”

“Oh fuck. Um, fucking. Ice knife! Second level!”

“Roll to hit!”

The battle went on with Himeros dropping some big spells and healing on Comedy so Comedy could land the final blow on both of the ettercaps. They descended into the bowels of the ship when they found that one of the ettercap rooms had a ladder encased with some webs. As they explored more of the ship, they found another cluster of webs, and this time, alongside the ettercap were three giant wolf spiders with their babies.

“I hate it here,” Julian said in Comedy’s voice.

“I’m sorry for laughing,” Corey said. “He sounds so defeated.”

Julian laughed, short and quick, then turned to Corey. “Before it does anything, the second I see it, I cast guiding bolt at fourth level,” he said. Corey whistled. “Yeah, Comedy’s fucking pissed.”

“That seems like a new emotion for Comedy,” Clark commented.

“Not really but it’s pretty rare,” Julian said. “Nineteen plus eight for a twenty-seven to hit.”

“It _just_ hits,” Corey teased.

“Well, it _just_ takes 7d6 radiant damage,” Julian said, holding his hand out for everyone’s d6’s. “I need four more.” Clark immediately gave him one. “Enough is enough. I’ve had it with these motherfucking spiders on this motherfucking boat.” Clark was the first to laugh too.

After that battle ended, they reached the bottom of the boat, where a necromancer had somehow found a home in this ghost ship. There were more giant wolf spiders that he summoned, as well as an undead crew. Once that was finished, they finally got the chest that was hiding in a dark corner of the ship. It took a couple of rolls to lift it out of the storage partially flooded storage area that now stank of undead guts and blood and rooting wood.

“You feel a rumble under your feet,” Corey said. “The water around you ripples and sloshes around.”

The timer dinged on Corey’s phone. “Oh,” Mikey huffed, “fuck you, Corey.”

“The wood snaps above you as a giant tentacle could be seen outside of the grimy window on the second level of this boat. The whole boat groans under the pressure. You have a few minutes before this thing drags you to the depths alongside the Eden’s Horizon. Roll initiative for the last time!”

With both Bastion and Baffin carrying the chest, they were able to make it to the deck without too many issues. Xora, who summoned a couple of dire wolves and was a dire wolf herself, and Comedy, who summoned a circle of radiant hedgehogs and another spiritual ice cream weapon, and Himeros who summoned two more dire wolves, were damaging the tentacles enough that the kraken wasn’t paying attention to the two adventurers carrying the heavy chest.

Now there was the matter of getting off this ship.

“I could teleport with it but I can only go like, five hundred feet and I can do it only once and I’m pretty sure it’ll sink like a fucking rock if I land in the water,” Julian said, wringing his hands.

“I can still wild shape one more time,” Raven said. “And I think Xora has one more in her too. And she can be a giant flying thing so she can carry one other person.”

“Bastion can’t swim,” Mikey said.

“Alright. Sinny grabs Mikey and flies off here with the chest. I think if Sinny has them on his back then Bastion won’t have to roll to carry it,” Clark said. “Raven can fly. That leaves you and me,” Clark turned to Julian. “Dimension door, right?”

Julian nodded. “My last fourth level.”

“We’ll just swim. Comedy can swim. I’m a water genasi. We’ll be fine.”

“The deck is splitting apart and everything’s tilting,” Corey announced. “What are you gonna do?”

“Xora, in dire wolf form, runs to where the split his happening and jumps. I use my bonus action to turn into a giant eagle,” Sinny said.

“I hand the other side of the chest over to Bastion,” Clark said.

“I jump and hopefully land on Xora’s back,” Mikey said.

“Roll perception to see if you’re able to time it.”

“Fuck” Mikey ran his fingers through his hair before picking up the dice.

“Traveler be with you! I cast guidance,” Julian blurted.

“It’s a touch spell,” Corey said. “I don’t think you guys are near each other.”

“I use a sorcery point to make the range thirty feet instead of touch,” Julian added.

“Fuck yeah, Comedy,” Raven cheered as Mikey rolled.

“I’m sweating. This is just a nerdy dice game, why am I sweating?” Julian asked.

“It be like that,” Corey said. “Mikey what’d you get?”

Mikey leaned back with relief. “Twenty-one. Twenty-two with guidance.”

“It’s like you’ve done it before! You watch as Voxxora turns into a giant eagle and you wait, and you wait, and you wait, and you leap with all your might. You even planned for the weight of the chest affecting your trajectory. You land on Xora and even though she falters from the sudden impact, she’s able to course correct and swoop up into the sky. Safe. Who’s next?” Corey asked.

“I look to Comedy and Baffin. I say: Don’t die, and then I turn jump off the ship, turning into a raven,” Raven said with a grin.

“A tentacle hits you—I’m joking! I’m joking!” Corey said through a laugh when Raven’s eyes bulged. He turned to Clark and Julian. “You two, roll a dexterity saving throw as your side of the ship is now almost at a ninety-degree angle.”

“With a plus two because Comedy’s in my aura of protection,” Clark said as he rolled.

“That’s real sweet, you guys,” Raven said. Both Julian and Clark groaned when their dice landed on their numbers. “Oh no.”

“If I die, this is your fault,” Julian said. “Plus two, you said?” Clark nodded, glaring at Raven, who was sinking under the table. Okay. Not too horrible. Eleven.”

“Nine,” Clark said. Corey hissed.

“Boo!” Sinny and Mikey threw leftover paper napkins at Raven.

“You cursed them,” Sinny exclaimed.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

“Comedy, would you mind making another dexterity throw please?” Corey asked.

“You be quiet,” Julian said to Raven, who was under the table now. “Still plus two?” Julian asked.

“Ask the DM,” Clark replied.

“Sure,” Corey said.

Julian rolled. He put a hand on his mouth. “Two. Six total.”

“Ow! Who kicked me?” Raven shouted from under the table.

“Does it matter?” Clark knocked hard on the table.

“Okay, here’s what happens,” Corey started, “This half of the ship lurches. You two topple over. Comedy, you’re able to grab hold of the railing but Baffin, you land on your arm funny and you used most of your reaction to keep your weight off of it. Comedy, you try to grab them before they plummet but they slip through your fingers. Baffin is sliding down into the water where a kraken is feasting. What do you guys do?”

Before Clark could say anything, Julian jumped in, “Oh! Shit. I’m sorry. I totally forgot about this feature. Favored by the Gods: if you fail a saving throw or miss an attack roll, you can roll 2d4 and add it to the total. Can I still do that?”

Corey looked upward, head tilting back and forth, and said, “Sure. It’s your first game. Why not?”

“Merciful DM,” Clark said, hand on his chest. He bowed. “Gracious, kind DM. We’re eternally grateful.”

“Yes, oh so compassionate and benevolent DM.” Julian laughed and rolled his two d4’s. He raised both arms when the dice landed. “Four and a two. Twelve total.”

“Just enough.” Corey nodded. “You _think_ that was going to happen, but you manage to catch Baffin by the lip of his splint armor. However, they’re heavy and you’re not that strong. They’re slipping out of your grasp.”

“I dimension door out of there, five hundred feet towards our ship,” Julian exclaimed.

Corey made a whooshing then sucking sound with a corresponding gesture. “You guys disappear and the air is ripped out of your lungs in the sudden shift. Then you’re falling five feet out of the air and landing into the ocean. Baffin, you sink because of your armor and your shield, but you can breathe underwater so it’s fine. Comedy, you look down and you see Baffin treading the water underneath you.”

“I wave to Comedy and give him the okay hand signal. Not the thumbs up, but the okay hand signal,” Clark said. “Learned that the hard way when I went scuba diving the first time.”

“Fair,” Julian said. “Comedy would know what that means from growing up by the ocean.”

“Let me insight check that,” Clark said, more comfortable around Julian now than he was at the start of the game. Julian chortled as he rolled. “Fifteen.”

“Not that you, Baffin, heard me, Julian, the player, say it, but that one’s true,” he replied.

“Cool. We swim to the ship.”

“Yeah.”

“Once they’re within range,” Raven started, “I’ll use control water to help ferry them back. Six hundred feet is no joke.”

* * *

They returned to Saltmarsh, praised by the crew they sailed with and by their benefactor who was happy to be reunited with his family’s chest, that contained documents that would help him rebuild his family’s shipping empire after it was stolen from him. They were paid their gold. Himeros was writing to his father about the kraken they encountered. Xora was getting drunk with the crew they sailed with. Bastion supervised. Comedy was sitting at the edge of the pier, watching the sun set.

“Baffin approaches him and says: I was wondering where you were. And they sit down and give him a box with a chocolate croissant in it and a brownie topped with sea salt,” Clark said.

“What’s this?” Julian asked.

“It’s for saving my life. It’s not much really, but it’s the least I could do,” Clark answered.

“Thank you. Honestly, I should be buying you a drink or something for saving mine. You revived me when those fucking spiders swarmed.” Julian shuddered. “Never looking at a spider the same way ever again.”

“Baffin smiles and chuckles,” Clark said. “Then they’re quiet.”

“After a moment,” Julian said, “Comedy says: You know? For realsies this time, I grew up by the sea too. My mama lived in his nice chateau and we’d run to the beach every time the sun was low enough that it didn’t burn anymore. I left because I wanted to see the world just like she did and I never really realized that I’d be so far away from the ocean. I only took the job because Babanon told me it was going to be on the water. I was headed here anyway, but I figured why not make money while at it too.”

“I’m glad you did. Come here and take the job,” Clark said. “You were a great help there.”

“Comedy reaches over and holds their hand, saying: I’m glad I came here too,” Julian said.

No one was talking, no one was teasing. Clark stared at Julian, who conveyed Comedy’s earnest innocence so well that Clark forgot that it wasn’t just the two of them sitting on a pier.

Clark took a sip of his water to stall for a moment and to still his sprinting heartbeat. “Baffin responds to Comedy’s touch and turns over their hand to twine it around Comedy. They’re looking at their hands when they say: We’re staying here in Saltmarsh for a while longer. Do you want to join our merry band?”

“Yes, I would love that, actually,” Julian replied. “Comedy kisses them on the cheek.”

“Baffin turns teal,” Clark said, turning pink.

“And that’s where we’ll end this session, you guys.” Corey clapped and the others joined.

“GG!” Sinny raised his last glass of alcohol and started tapping it with everyone else’s drinks. Julian laughed.

* * *

The game ended but the night was still young. It wasn’t like they had any college responsibilities or anything like that. They were all free to shoot the shit and talk about the highlights of the game and heat up some frozen pizza. They also got to know Julian a bit more, but he had to go back to his apartment. His roommates were wondering where he was.

“Clark will walk you out,” Corey announced when Julian’s Über arrived.

“Cool, thanks,” Julian said as he put on his shoes. Clark stood and kicked backward to hit Corey’s shin. He was going to do it anyway but not one of his friends wanted it to be subtle. At least they were quiet when Clark led Julian out the apartment.

They were quiet for a moment. Clark asked about what Julian was majoring in. Julian asked the same. Clark asked about his roommates and Julian talked about how this guy named Logan has been trying to get him to play Dungeons and Dragons for a while now and had helped with Comedy’s character sheet. Clark talked about how Mikey got them all into it last year. Then they reached Julian’s Über.

“I had a great night,” Julian said.

“Yeah.” Clark rubbed his arm before he said, “I really hope you play with us again. I wanna see what’s in store with Baffin and Comedy. I never thought they’d be the romancable type but here we are.”

Julian chuckled. “Sure.”

Without letting a second of silence steal this moment from him, Clark added, “And coffee? Would you like to get some coffee sometime?”

Julian’s face brightened and Clark could do a backflip right there and then with the rush he received from seeing that. He lifted his dice tray and unloaded his set of dice on it. “Roll persuasion, with advantage.”

“Do I get to add anything to that?” Clark asked, picking up the d20.

“Plus two.”

“Just a two?”

Julian scoffed, amused. “Shut up and roll.”

Clark rolled. He got a nineteen. He rolled again because of the advantage. Another nineteen. “Hmm…nineteen plus two for a twenty-one.”

“Tomorrow. I’ll pick you up. Ten?” Julian asked.

“Yeah, sure. That would be wonderful.”

“This is so fucking nerdy,” Julian said, shaking his head. “Goodnight, Clark.”

“Goodnight, Julian.”

Julian entered the car. The moment the car turned the corner and he was out of eyeshot, he jumped in the air, punching it on the way down. He hated that his friends’ ploy worked but damn he was glad that it worked.

**Author's Note:**

> Song I listened to on repeat while writing this:  
> Roundtable Rival by Lindsey Stirling  
> +  
> Also, with regards to the persuasion check that Julian makes Clark roll: if Clark rolled low, like under a ten low, Julian would've tilted the tray he borrowed from Logan until the dice showed a higher number. It just so happened that I rolled two nineteens so Julian didn't have to do that.


End file.
